Have Sex, Not War: Alabama Sex Shop Offering ‘Toys for Guns’

Posted on February 11, 2012


If your gun isn’t working anymore this Valentine’s Day, trade it in for a dildo. That’s what one Alabama sex shop is hoping local residents will do as it offers a “Toys for Guns’ special that will offer sex toys in exchange for unwanted firearms.

“This is my contribution to making love, not war, here in Alabama — where guns are legal and adult toys are not,” said Pleasures owner Sherri Williams, according to AL.com. “Last year was successful, and this year our goal will be to take another 100 guns off the streets.”

Williams’ husband is a gun dealer who apparently knows his guns, and he will be on hand during the event to inspect the firearms to assess their value and, supposedly, offer former gun-owners a gift card to use at the shop.

That means that instead of knocking people off with bullets, you can just get people off with a bullet.

“You never know, maybe there will be someone who says, ‘I’ve got this gun that I could go rob a liquor store with, or maybe I can get me a blowup doll for Valentine’s Day, instead,” Williams told AFP.

Williams also said it’s a good way for people on a budget to keep their sex lives kinky without going broke.

“In today’s economy, this is a way of helping people who may feel they can’t afford something for Valentine’s Day,” she said.

But the fun doesn’t stop there. In addition to getting guns off the streets and helping broke gun owners revamp their sex lives, the newly acquired weapons will be auctioned off and proceeds will go to victims of gun violence.

Basically, this is the best concept ever: stop killing, get laid more, and people in need of help get some. Not bad, Pleasures. The only problem is that instead of the sporadic gun shot in the middle of the night, neighbors might be complaining about the constant humming noise…or maybe they won’t, if you know what I mean (wink wink).

Of course, a lot of gun nuts see their guns as a sort of sex toy, anyways…but hey, every little bit helps.